My Weakness

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

So I found while browsing blogs that I am following an interesting "bloghop/linkup" that I definitely wanted to take part in! It is the 52 Weeks of Blogging with A Purpose by Frommrstomama. It is a link up that opens every Monday with a different topic for that week. This will get me blogging weekly (hopefully) and on top of that, I won't have writers block while trying to find something to write about. While browsing I also found quite a few more things I wanted to take part in! YAY! So I will start this week since she just started 4 weeks ago so I am not too far behind. So why don't you join me with 52 weeks of blogging with a purpose! So while trying to think of my weakness or weaknesses, only a few come to mind that really stand out. Mind you, I have flaws like everybody else and have my weaknesses like everybody else so I will just choose the ones that I struggle with a lot.

My main one is trust. This is a big issue and weakness for me. You have to earn my trust, it isn't that I am going to trust you off the bat until you mess something up which is bound to happen. I didn't just have trust issues because I have them, it is because of my past. I don't want to go into a bunch of details but relationships, family, friends all have contributed to my trust issues. Maybe I should have chose them more wisely but when you are young, you are in it for the ride until you get hurt. You can't choose your family so I just have to deal with that. When you are 3 months pregnant (With Arianna) and the guy you are having a child with and are committed to, does the unthinkable and unimaginable, you lose faith in ever trusting again. When your dad is a coward and your mom isn't the easiest person to trust, it definitely weighs heavy on you. When your very first boyfriend ever cheats on you not once, but twice, of course, it hurts. Anyways enough of that before the waterworks start coming, hey, I blame it on the hormones of pregnancy!
Self-esteem is another thing I struggle with. I especially am struggling with what I am looking like this pregnancy. I feel huge, I look huge, I have stretch marks from Arianna showing up darker this time and a few more. My thighs and calves blew up so I have stretch marks there too. I just look at myself in the mirror and want to cry. I know a lot of my weight is water weight and as soon as I have the baby, I will be pounds lighter like I was with Arianna (I gained 50lbs and went home from the hospital 15lbs lighter and then continued to just lose it after, no diet or nothing). This baby I have gained about 50 and then some. -sigh- I know though as soon as my sweetpea comes, none of that will matter. I will though be determined to get out and jog and walk and do home exercises, tan and get my hair done as soon as he comes so I will at least boost some level of confidence in myself and be able to fit most of my pre-pregnancy clothes. This cellulite better shed too as soon as I have him and these flabby fat upper arms and cankles better leave too!
Honestly, those are my two major weaknesses and issues that I struggle with daily so don't judge since everybody has their flaws! I hope everybody is having a great week. I will maybe be back tomorrow or this weekend with some more posts since school seems to be slowing down or I seem to be getting ahead! Whichever it is, it's working. I am done with all my homework except one class due Saturday night which I have one more chapter to read and then I can do that homework. More homework does start tomorrow so I will take that in when it starts heh. I am going to go now and catch up on some blog reading and commenting back!! If anyone would like to ad swap, let me know, definitely looking for more bloggers to connect with!

Questions: I have been following blogs on bloglovin but I see you can follow the people too, what is the difference? Should I follow the person and their blog or just their blog? Does it count different? Let me know!

1 comment:

  1. Girl, it must be my hormones kicking in too because I totally feel where you're coming from in this post.

    First off, I think it's so cool of you to share personal things you are dealing with here on your blog with us readers. I too have trust issues mainly because of people I've blindly trusted or had no choice but to trust in my past. I think it causes me to be a bit clingy to the few people in my life that I can depend on though.

    And believe me, I have days where I feel huge, sweaty, huge, and still huge. Some days it overwhelms me to no end, while other days I just try to dress up (even if my clothes look too small) and do my hair and makeup to attempt to make myself feel better. It doesn't always work though :(

    I hope you have a fab week girlie and that life gives you a million reasons to smile!

    Ohhhh and I saw that you can follow people on Bloglovin too. I followed people and blogs but have no clue what I'm doing. I'm still trying to clean up my Bloglovin feed and have no clue what I'm doing lol